In this guide, we’ll talk about why we sometimes come off as boring and what to do about it. The good news is that by using a few tricks, you’ll be able to bring out what’s unique and fun about you.
1. Practice being relaxed around people
To be fun to be around, you have to make others feel comfortable around you. You can only do that if you are comfortable with yourself.
When you feel comfortable and safe around people, you can be yourself. You can make stupid jokes and act freely without worrying about being judged. We all have traits that make us different and unique – when we are 100% relaxed and ourselves, we can be all of those things.
If you are feeling uncomfortable, here are some things to remind yourself:
- People don’t watch your every move. Just like you’re focused on you, everyone else is focused on themselves.
- If you mess up, ask yourself how a confident person would react if they did that? They probably wouldn’t care, so why should you?
- You’ll be more likable if you talk freely and be yourself. It’s better to say something stupid once in a while than always guard yourself against making a mistake.
2. Show others that you’re relaxed and easy-going
If you feel stiff, there are a few things you can do to appear more easy-going:
- Reward people with laughter if they say something witty or funny.
- Give plenty of friendly, relaxed eye contact.
- Have open body language.
- Be friendly: Be generous with compliments. Talk about the good in a situation or someone, rather than the bad.
- Don’t censor yourself. Come up with ideas and share them – where to go, what to do, what you think about a situation. It helps people get to know you.
- Learn some tips on how to be witty.
3. Be non-judgmental
Be accepting of yourself and everyone else. If you’re quick to judge, remind yourself to give everyone a chance. Deciding not to judge others will help them relax around you.
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Treat everyone as a soon-to-be friend. Have an open, relaxed facial expression and ask questions to get to know the other person. Have the mindset that everyone can teach you something, and everyone’s decisions can have merit, even if you would have done it differently.
You’ll be more fun to be around if people feel that you accept them and what they do without a sign of judgment.
4. Be a good listener
You can signal that you accept others through body language and a warm tone of voice.
That means putting away all distractions and listening to who you are talking to, nodding, smiling, and saying “uh-huh” when appropriate. Keep eye-contact and avoid scanning the room. That can signal that you would rather be somewhere else.
5. Open up
Open up and tell funny stories about your life and experiences: weird jobs you’ve had, a bad blind date, amusing things from your childhood. Don’t share deeply personal stories that would make your audience feel uncomfortable. You want to share anecdotes that everyone can relate to and laugh at.
That helps people get to know you and feel more comfortable by, in turn, sharing about themselves. Remind yourself that for two people to feel like they know each other, they need to know things about each other.
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6. Be able to laugh at yourself
Those who are OK with being a little foolish are usually more fun to be around. A small mistake can make you more human and likable. It’s called the pratfall effect.
A self-deprecating joke can also make you more relatable. But don’t over-do it. Always making jokes at your own expense can soon become too much. However, if you trip and fall, it’s more likable to be able to joke about it than trying to act as if nothing happened. People enjoy being around those who can laugh at life and the weird situations it puts us in.
Being funny means sharing your thoughts, inner weirdness, interests, and intellect with the world. You won’t hit a home run every time – that’s OK. If eight out of ten of your jokes land, nobody will remember the other two.
7. Find your type of humor
If you don’t think you’re funny, start with the kind of humor that makes you laugh. Is it dry sarcasm? Puns and silly turns of phrase? Physical gags with funny faces or body movements? Whatever it is, study it and see if you can reproduce it with your friends and family first. Then incorporate it in your everyday conversations.
8. Be the glue that holds people together
Make it easy for everyone to get along in a group by introducing your friends to each other. Help them discover things that they have in common with one another.
- Talk about mutual interests you all have.
- Talk about a cool thing one person in the group has done and ask them to tell the group about it.
- Bring new friends or friend-groups together doing something everyone can enjoy – bowling, theme parks, ultimate frisbee, soccer, game night.
9. Do things that scare you
Push your boundaries a bit if you tend to stay in your comfort zone. Do new things, even if they scare you a little. If someone invites you to try something new – like a cooking class or going to a speed dating event – and your gut instinct is to decline, do it anyway. This slowly builds up your confidence and ability to be spontaneous. People who are brave like that have great stories to tell, and that can make them fun to be around.
10. Be positive
Being positive is a decision, no different than a decision to eat more greens or spend less time on the phone. Deciding to see things from a positive perspective can make your life more fun in general, and make you more fun to be around.
If something bothers you, ask yourself if there’s a positive way you can see it. If something negative is taking your focus, remind yourself of other things you can appreciate. These are often the things we take for granted: Being healthy, safe, having a close family or a good friend, enjoying nature or a cool movie.
11. Focus on others
If you tend to talk about yourself, ask questions about other people to make them feel comfortable. Or look up fun questions to ask others to find out more about them. As a general rule for balanced interaction, everyone should spend a similar amount of time talking.
12. Rest – so you can stay fun
You can only push yourself so far. Recharge your batteries when you need to have the energy, both emotional and physical, to keep going. Self-care is as important as caring for others and expanding your social circle. You have to be well, to do well.
If you’re at a party, take a 5-minute break in the bathroom. If you’ve had a full week, allow yourself to have the Sunday all by yourself.